How to Beat the Blues When It's All Too Much!

What do you do when you don’t have Depression but you are starting to feel like the world is on your shoulders and things are getting on top of you.

How do you get yourself out?

With all the little things in life if you don’t allow your feelings to be and process them then they fester into something much bigger and it all gets too much and you crack, you feel yourself cracking, you know you’re close to the edge, so what do you do?

Do you reach out? Yes, of course but sometimes it isn’t as easy as that is it?

Sometimes you reach out and it’s taken the wrong way or they let their feelings get in they way of helping you and being there for you. People will always think of themselves and their own feelings first, it’s only natural. So as much as you say “This IS NOT about you” until your blue in the face they will still walk away thinking of themselves and thinking it IS them. Where does that leave you?

You reach out and in the end it’s still about others when for just once for a split second you wanted it to be about you, just so you can get validation and get it off your chest.

What do you do then?
Think about yourself and how you’re feeling, try to narrow the feeling down. Write it down, shake it out, breathe through it and move on. You need to validate it yourself, so sometimes you don’t have to address the person directly in order to move on.

Sometimes the people who you think will be there for you are often the ones that aren’t and vice versa the people who you think won’t be there for you often turn out to be the ones you begin to rely on. That’s the process of life and we have to trust it.

When a challenge comes your way; allow yourself to be mad, angry, frustrated or annoyed. Then ask yourself “What is life trying to teach me now, what lesson can I learn from this?”

In business you will always have the innovative thinkers, the doers and then you have the ones that will take your ideas, not think anything of it and not give reference to you. They don’t understand that joint ventures are a powerful thing if you work together you’ll have double the impact, not if I keep my cards close to my chest I’ll create possibility. But that’s OK because Entrepreneurs have so many ideas and we are not afraid to try them. So we will always be one step ahead….


Unless it has happened to someone then they can never really understand.

I remember when I was young we had a Christmas at our house Aunt’s, Uncle’s, Cousins and Granny (My Mum’s mum) and granny took all of her Grand kids out the front of our house and gave them all money for Christmas….. Except us!

My mum was most upset and it was the main topic of conversation for months, maybe even years. We said to Mum “Don’t worry about it because we don’t care” she would often respond with something like “I don’t care, she doesn’t care about me and I don’t care about her” But of course it did bother her.

I didn’t understand, until it happen to me.

Around 20 years later, seven Grand kids nearly eight. Everyone was at my house and although my Father was not there he sent all Grand kids a present except mine…

I understand now. I try to talk about it and the first thing I say is “I know it’s his loss, his choice, he made that decision” I KNOW that, but it still makes me feel crap.

Do know what everyone still says-
• It’s his loss, don’t let it get to you.

Not that easy, I know that but in that small part of your brain you wonder “Out of 5 kids why me, just one, what’s wrong with me?”

Nothing! His choice or his wife’s but that’s not the point, you have to be accountable. I was made to feel guilty in the last couple of years “Because he tries really hard with me, it’s my fault because I’m a bad daughter”

Maybe I am-
• Because I can’t pretend that you were never there,
• That you only cared when it suited you,
• You left when we needed you most and didn’t even talk about it.
• Sorry those yearly phone calls (if that) didn’t really cut it,
• That you only thought I looked good when I had an eating disorder,
• That my partner whom I love with ALL of my being “Is not good enough for me but good enough for my other sister” What the…. Idiot.
• That in 11 years you have probably called about 5 times (that’s trying really hard).
• When my first daughter was born she was not even acknowledged.
• Even when I have tried to put it behind and start a fresh, reach out you always manage to put me down and patronize me.

Because “Women in business never succeed!”

Some people think that’s funny and maybe it is just you, but I see past that persona for as funny as you maybe and all the guys think you are so funny and such a nice guy. They weren’t there to see what I saw, others maybe able forgive and I have forgiven you as well because I know it’s just you to be selfish and always take the easy way out and that’s OK because you don’t have “it” but your 4 in line does.

With that said I am done and that’s your choice. So I am not mad, angry and I don’t even hate you and from the bottom of my heart I wish you well. But I am done…

Everyone has a limit and I will not feel guilty for being true to myself, honestly and passionately. Those who love you for you will get that.

As soon as it starts to affect your day to day life you must break down your feelings into bit size chewable chucks, process it allow yourself to feel and think and move on.


Is there something that is troubling you, how do you get back on top of it?


Sunny Mummy also has some great advice on seeing life sunny side up :)


Disclaimer: This article was written from a personal opinion and I am NOT a qualified in psychology or counselling. If you do need assistance with emotions or mental health, to seek assistance from your GP immediately.

New Year, New Decade

Maddison & Milly

But what about the last one, have you thought about your accomplishments in 2009.

Before you go full steam ahead for this year, allow yourself time to reflect on 2009 and give yourself a pat on the back. I had a huge year both personally and professionally I let go of somethings while I embraced others.
My biggest realisation for the year was to;

BE TRUE, HONEST AND LISTEN TO YOURSELF

My Personal Accomplishments:

* I listened to myself and then acted.
* I maintained a healthy lifestyle; I juggled work, exercise and healthy eating.
* I was able to juggle Motherhood and my business (When I say juggle is WAS just that)
* Slowly but surely our house came together, it should be finished next month, YAY!

My Business Achievement's

* I sold my baby, not Milly :)so I could focus on Bra Queen
* Bra Queen started as 1 business and now it is 2!
* Conducted the Love Your Life Challenge which went off
* Conducted the 2009 Bra Survey AND it was featured in The Age
* Radio Interviews, Papers
* Contributor Author to SPROUT WEALTH, the paperback book will be available really soon.
* The Launch of BraQueen.com.au which I love.


What happening in 2010?

Personally

* After 2 years of building we will move into our house
* Maddison starts Kinder and she has another dilation next week.
* After 11 years I think it maybe time to start to organise a wedding, Ooo La La.
* As always lose weight, I lost my 3 kilos of Christmas weight so just 5 to go.
* Work/Life balance, I have decided to work nights instead of trying to "fit" it in during the day. It's quieter and WAY more constructive.

Professionally

* Bra Queen will be rolling out a whole bunch of online courses, coaching, tutorials and much more. I am dedicated to helping Small Businesses take their Business to the level to achieve emotional and financial freedom.
* I need a NEW NAME for this site, so if you have any ideas please let me know!
* I will be Guest Presenting on a TV Show called 'A Room To Grow'
* I am hitting the streets and doing heaps of filming for you guys.
* SPROUT WEALTH will be available
* Love Your Life will be available for purchase so you can do it at your own pace.
* I am continuing my one on one coaching as well.

WOW!No wonder I'm working nights :) I can't possibly fit all of this into a day!

How about you what are you up too?

Happy, Humble and Very Grateful

As the festive season draws to an end I find myself feeling happy, humble and very grateful.
What has been an extremely full on year very challenging and trying at times but over all this year has bought me incredible growth both personally and professionally. The journey has been both exhilarating and exhausting.
Christmas Day bought my family together which in any standard is a miracle but it also bought happiness, laughter and tears. Good tears, happy tears, tears that represent pride, admiration, happiness and love, lots of love. Love in that our kids play together, knowing that before we grew up and our different life experiences we used to do the exact same thing.
I still saw the freedom in the eyes of the crazy one dancing alone on the rug,
I still saw the love and the cheekiness in eyes of another one.
I still saw the cruisey one look over all of us with pride, pride in that we can over look our differences and come together with a mutual respect and no judgements.

But over the festive season I encourage you to stop, clarify and start to think about what you would like in 2010.

Do You Smack Your Kids?

Is smacking your children appropriate behavior?

For YEARS I have heard people bang on about "The Terrible Two's" but I had no problem with Maddison. HOWEVER 3 on the other hand is a different story, man o man is she testing/naughty/driving me mental.

What is the appropriate discipline to Smack, Time out, Naughty Spot what?

Personally I am totally opposed to smacking and it makes me sick to my stomach even to think about it, don't get me wrong I have WANTED to and thought about it but never have and never will. In saying that I have heaps of friends who smack their kids and I DO NOT judge them for it, everyone is different and there is no right or wrong in my eyes. Unless of course you are betting your child to a pulp or if you hit your child it's because YOU are mad or frustrated not because you are trying to discipline them, then that is a different story.

It is such a dilemma because you REALLY don't want to raise a little shit, you have the older generation saying "I hit you kids and it didn't hurt you" or your partner saying "Clearly time out is NOT working we have to smack her"

What do you do?

I contemplate smacking thinking "OK maybe I am wrong, maybe it would work?" and when you hear "She is such a disrespectful little shit at the moment" SHE IS 3!

But after thinking about it for 2 seconds is just does not sit well with me and I do not feel comfortable with and if I do not feel comfortable with it, then that's OK because you have to be true to yourself and if it doesn't sit well, then it will not happen and it's as simple as that.

Where does that leave us? I don't know hopefully not with a spoilt, disrespectful little girl!

How do you discipline your children when time out is not working?


What kind of children are we creating Control Your Kids!
Guilt Free Parenting at Real Mums

Christmas Presents....

Christmas is a week away, my goodness!
Chances are our partners haven't yet sourced and purchased our Christmas presents.

Personally I LOVE the element of surprise however I am a little frighten as to what I might get. Over nearly 11 years I have had some great pressie's and well not so great ones that are still in their boxes.
The down side about being the Bra Queen is I NEVER receive lingerie (from him anyway)and well this may come as a shock to you but I LOVE lingerie! I think he has forgotten :)

Do you run the risk of getting a bad present? Or do you tell your partner what you want for Christmas?

I have done both in the past and this year I am braving it, so I'll keep you posted!

What do you want for Christmas?

Are You Naughty or Nice?

Man! Some people just DON'T get it!

Do you have a body baby?
I have always called Maddison my body baby. She has been attached to me since I took her home from the hospital at 6 weeks until then it was just patting and cuddles were few and far between.
Everyone said “She’ll grow out of it” but alias 3 years later and not so much!
Pretty much like clock every 10 minutes she will come up to me and say “MUMMY, I want cuddles”
I often wonder if she craves more “cuddles” because of her lack of them in the beginning.
What do you think?
I think now she is much more aware that something isn’t quite right because she is craving even more affection (if that is possible) She knows that she is going in for her surgery and Tom is going to fix it for her, but I don’t know!

As hard as it is to try and explain and prepare her for it and watch her frightened eyes as she goes under, I know that every time I go in I come out stronger and right now I feel like I need that strength for the next chapter.

For each time we go in we walk out stronger, more inspired, more compassionate and a more united family.

Her surgery was booked in for 2 weeks ago then got delayed due to a more critical baby. Some people’s thought process was “It can’t be too serious if they are delaying it” to you I say this-
I feel sorry for you as clearly you are from another planet. Clearly you weren’t there in the beginning; you didn’t see what I saw.
Do you grasp the reality of what life is about I wonder? You aren’t there every time she chokes, stops breathing and vomits everywhere or every time she goes blue because no air is going to her lungs. It’s real, it’s very real. Whether you choose to believe it or not.

Maybe it isn’t “as serious” but I know that because I see and I breathe and I feel for every sick child and their parents because I know what they have been through and what we continue to go through because whether it is or isn’t as serious as the next child we move on but we don’t forget and we never really get over what happen.

BUT make no mistake I am so incredibly grateful to live and to tell my story.

Who is Your Family?

To me my family is not just my partner and my 2 girls. Yes they are my immediate family of course.
But just because I have 2 children does that mean that my "other" immediate family my Mum and my siblings, does that mean they are no longer my family? NO. To me that is just crazy, as if they are now any less important.
Why in God's name would anyone think that your immediate family has to change? It doesn't and it shouldn't.
It is YOUR choice if you CHOOSE to make it that way. BUT know that once you decide to go down that road. You are saying goodbye to your family, your support network and maybe your friend. Is that what you what? Who is really missing out? You, your partner or your children? Just because you too far up your own arse to think about other people.

I am still as protective of my family now as I have ever been. I have always and will continue to put myself out there and wear my heart on my sleeve because I CHOOSE to live my life and to FEEL to LOVE so much that it brings a tear to my eye just to write this! But that is MY choice and it is up to you how you choose view it.

You my may choose to think about "Oh my god I can't believe she just said arse instead of bottom" or you can choose to view it as "Wow, she really does love and put herself out there"
You can to choose to let any little petty thing that someone else says or does get to you. She said this instead of that. To me it's WHATEVER because if it comes from your heart then I will love and respect whatever you choose to say and look beyond any imperfections you have, say or do. That is my word xx IF the respect works both ways.

My family is now not just the people I grew up with and not just partner and my 2 beautiful girls but my family is ALL of my support network my family, my "other" family and my friends.

I don't care what tittle a person has. If I am there for you and you are there for me. In good times and in bad with no judgments, no disrespect. Then YOU are my family and I thank you xx

If love is like a flower, you have to water it to make it grow, yes?

We have so many relationships with people in our lives. Whether it is your partner, friends, family or work colleagues and they all need work to work.

I think we become so stagnate in our relationships that we forget to stop and appreciate and reconnect.

You spend more time with your work mates then anyone else in your life so it’s important that you get along. You have to connect on some many levels and like any relationship if you’ve been working together for a long time then some days you’re just going to be sick of looking at that person but as long as most days you work well together and respect each other then it will be proactive.

Your friends, its funny how you can have a group of friends and you all connect on different levels and no two people have the same friendship but you all get along. At different stages through your life it can change who you connect with the most depending on where you are in your life.

Your family is whom you are bound too for life. It probably takes the most work; no one has a ‘normal’ family. It’s where you have a family of let’s say 6. You have 6 completely, totally different individuals who you have to get along with? Who’s crazy idea was that!

You have 6 different roads and 6 different drivers. Now each road, each car and each driver has their own unique way to get to their destination. No one is necessarily going the wrong way or the right way its how you get there.
For this to work you have to respect each other for their beliefs and their choices.
No one is better, more deserving or more important then anyone else. Regardless of income, what you own, what job you have it doesn’t matter. If you think it does. Then get off your high dam horse, suck it up and have a look at yourself. You will grow up alone with no real support, no real friends, no real family only the tangible materialistic crap that you can always replace it’s the intangible things that matter.

I understand that you do things that feel right at the time. You do the best you know how. I want you to be happy! You know happy from the bottom of your heart happy, you know so happy that you can cry. If your not I want to help you get it, but I can only help if you’re willing to help yourself.


I respect you, I love you, I trust you and I will never take you for granted.

The Chaser= Bad Taste Comedy

I was as shocked, disgusted & appalled at The Chaser's recent comedy skit (and I use the term comedy VERY loosely)
When I first seen it I had tears in my eyes and I felt sick to my stomach.

Funny it was NOT!

It makes me sad just thinking about it. Their apology even worse, please could you at least remove the smirk from your face?

Maddison was in ICU Neonatal Unit for the 1st 6 weeks of her life and for someone to make a mockery of that is just disgusting.

I challenge you to go in and spend your EVERY waking second in there for 6 weeks and tell me the parents and the kids aren't deserving.

You know, you come across angry & rude people everyday for the most trivial reasons. But the people inside any Children's Hospital are the most positive, genuine & happy people you will ever meet. If anyone has a reason to have a chip on their shoulder it is these people. But they don't!

When I would walk to Maddison's room I walk past kids with cancer, kids with head braces, children being wheeled into surgery ALL day long.
I get to ICU and they are doing CPR on a baby and I can't see which cot they are around and I pray to god it's not Maddison and I'm so scared and grateful that it's not her, but it is someone's baby. Then I feel guilty for being relieved that it's not Maddison,another Mother isn't so lucky. I seen babies die everyday and you see their families crying and completely in despair. Tell me they are NOT DESERVING!

Instead of being at home, being sleep deprived and being swamped with visitors. I am able to 'pat' my girl and on a good day I can hold her for maybe 5 minutes. I am learning how to put a nasogastric tube up my baby nose down into her stomach just so she can eat. Watching her in so much pain and she is hysterical but I can't pick her up.
Where everyday it's a count down to try and wean her off oxygen, morphine then eventually Panadol. Then drug free, that's a great day. Now it's getting her to feed on her own.

But I got to take my daughter home. I'm one of the lucky ones and I feel so lucky so grateful that I can. Having seen so many that haven't been so lucky.

SO please Chaser Boys I challenge you to face every parent that has empty arms and heavy hearts that their baby isn't deserving!

Me, My kids and I

I have spent so much time lately thinking about my business and everything that goes with it. That I have to stop and give myself a little reality check!

Yesterday I posted a Smilebox which I love because it's quick, free, they look great and people love them.

I have 2 girls Maddison is 2 1/2 and Milly is 5 1/2 months.

Maddison is my girlie girl who could seriously talk the leg off a chair. There is nothing she can't say and who is far too intelligent for her own good. She loves dressing up, Barbie & painting her nails! And LOVES to cuddle.



Milly is much cruiser then Maddison doesn't really fuss too much but will let you know when she's not happy! She is really tall (she didn't get that from my side!) must be a throw back from somewhere! Right now all she wants to do is stand and be in where the action is.



I love it when you first go in Milly's room in the morning and she is so happy to see you. She Goo and Gaa's and full of smiles it warms your heart.

Maddison walked up to me the other day and said " I love you Baby!" and those random acts of affection can just bring a smile to your face.

So after my light bulb moment over the weekend I am now making it my mission to enjoy the present and start enjoying the journey and stop worrying about just getting to the other side.

I am looking forward to sharing the journey with you and please I love your comments so feel free to share...

My Family

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Substance or Lack Of?

Do you Love Substance or Lack Substance?

I’m walking this morning with my 2 girls in the pram as I do 5 times a week and I see the lolly pop man and he said “Haven’t you worn out those tires yet?” & I said “No but I’ve worn the tread of my runners!”

That got me thinking this-
I have had both the same amount of time nearly 3 years
I walk 5km 5 times a week. I LOVE my pram thank you Valco Runabout! You serve me well!
My runners yes are nearing the end but again served me well thank you Asics!
My favorite bra 3 years & like my pram still going strong. Lift tick, shape tick, comfort tick, support tick, sex appeal tick! Thank you you serve me well.


I am a true believer in quality & substance @ an affordable price!

Just because something is expensive doesn’t mean it’s the best. It’s about what is best for you and your lifestyle.

Bra Queen x