How many times have you heard “I never I had to use a dummy and I had 10 kids” or “I don’t know what’s wrong with mums today they just can’t handle it?”
Is there something to these comments? YES!
How many couples do you know that have split up after 30 years of marriage? How many years of their marriage were they really unhappy and just put up with it?
People got married younger with out experimenting with life and with out knowing who they actually were. I am a firm believer in flying solo; no parents, no partner just you so you can find out who you are and what you want. Parents and partners persuade you in their directions they all tend to do that, dream crushers!
Women today find themselves first so they know who they are and what they want. They have a career and most importantly they know what they want. Usually, for the most part!
When we do decide to have kids it is a huge shock to the system our life as we know it has totally changed. We are no longer in control of our lives when we have babies and toddlers.
The couples who have been together since teenage years they get to their 30’s and all too often one of the spouses have an affair. The partner finds out but they don’t DO anything!
They are too scared to leave because it’s the unknown and they have lived their entire adult life with their partners and are comfortable with their lives, but are they truly happy?? Maybe, I’m sure some are. I believe the majority aren’t.
Then you go Country VS City now I am a country girl and proud of it! However I now live in the City.
Here is what I find (I am generalizing)-
Country Mum's- I believe that Country Mum’s are much more comfortable with Motherhood then City Mum’s. Country Mum’s are usually much younger and they haven’t established a career yet. They tend to Work to Live were City Mum’s Live to Work. Everything in the Country is simple; life is simple so they just seem to fall into Parenthood much easier because they just don’t seem to have the stress. On the flip side a lot of couples split up because they have been together for so long that they want to find themselves OR they have only been with one partner so when another person takes an interest it is all to tempting to experiment. (Both parents not just Mums!)
City Mum’s- A lot of the time don’t have a support network that the Country Girls have because everyone is so far away. They are also so used to doing everything for themselves they aren’t as open to help. This is where the whole career side comes into it they have established their career and worked hard to do so, and then it is put aside for a long time. They are so use to having control and then everything becomes out of your control and all of a sudden you have to learn to “go with the flow”.
City Girls relationships are usually one of two things-
Either they have lived and experimented so they tend to be much more content and happier with their partners. OR
They fall into my Pretenders Category- On the outside their life is perfect however they are pretending! Too busy to go there OR maybe they just don’t want to.
BUT NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, WHERE YOU LIVE OR IN WHICH GENERATION
There is no such thing as a perfect parent. The grass isn’t greener and she isn’t a better Mum then you because she does more “stuff” with her kids then you do. Everyone brings to the table their own “stuff”. So city or country we are all women it doesn’t matter how we choose to parent we can not judge until we have lived in their shoes.
As women we are our own worst enemies! Do you really think men would take the time to look into all of this crap? Not on your life sister!
SO the next time you find yourself judging someone say to yourself “Get over yourself sister and don’t be such a Bi-Arch!
If you would like to read more on Guilt Free Parenting I highly recommend you check out Real Mums