Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Self Doubt, Are YOU Qualified?

One of the most frequent questions I get asked about is "Self Doubt" and how to overcome it.
I think as women as Mothers we have all been there, whether we choose to admit it or not is a different story!
Especially as a new Mum your day to day life feels like it becomes so man deem and you feel so "housewife-y" as much as you know that it's not the case and you are doing it for a great reason, you still feel that way. The visitors have gone, your partners back at work and it's just you and little baby and you're up to your elbows in dirty nappies, breast milk, vomit and running on 2 hours sleep. Completely cut off from the outside world. Your life has come to a complete halt and for the first few weeks you think the whole world has as well.
However you soon realise that life is going on and people are moving forward except you! You feel meaningless because you aren't doing anything constructive. We have all been there and to be perfectly honest I don't miss it at all! I LOVE my girls but man those early days tough.... But if you're still there it does get easier I promise you that. You are a GREAT Mum and you are doing a GREAT job!

Maybe your self doubt comes from you not feeling "qualified" to do what you do?

I know a few friends of mine that have the notion of "If you don't have a certificate or diploma then you aren't qualified"
I am and always have been I gigantic believer in "Knowledge is Power" but I don't think that always comes in the shape of a piece of paper (maybe that's why I'm not married to my partner of 11 years :)

* Life experience gives you a much needed lesson, one you can not be taught.
* You can learn HEAPS from a book but put it into practice and that's when it all comes together, yes?

I know those of you thinking Doctors, Dentists blah blah. Obviously in order to do most professions you need training in some shape or form and education IS crucial for everyone and you have to be taught, that is not what I am taking about.

For example I know a female Paediatrician who after all of her children returned to work after just 2 weeks of giving birth for 1 day a week just so she didn't lose her confidence within her profession. By doing that 1 day a week it kept her fresh and up to date with everything so when the time come she could and did go back full time.

So no matter what qualification you do have if any, we at some stage or another will doubt ourselves. But one way to get over that and avoid it is to be proactive and hands on, experience gives you confidence. You may have your degree but tell me on the first day on the day you felt confident? No way! If you did cheers to you :)

After my first child I lost my confidence and it took awhile to restore it and I am a very confident person but having Maddison changed that. However after Milly I worked right up to when she was born and return to work within a week of being home (I work from home so that of course enabled me to do that. We all don't have that luxury)

If you are self doubting yourself try to write down a list of everything you do and have learned, guaranteed you will realise that all the courses you have done, training you have been apart of, the hands on experience you have had, the life experiences good and bad you have learned from have made you a great person, who know buckets loads and you are capable of anything you want!

I have been through alot and learned alot personally through out my years, my profession has taken me around the globe giving me the opportunity to do many courses, training by many industry leaders, I have a wide variety of experience in many fields, I have a strong managerial background running over nearly 15 years. I have oodles upon oodles of certificates in so many different areas. However what do I have a diploma in? Hairdressing!
I define me! Life has taught me, I create my success, training/diplomas/Certificates just gives me the right to execute it and pass on my knowledge and experience.

High School Drop Outs You May Know-
*Jimmy Dean
*Richard Branson (Virgin)
*Henry Ford (Ford Motor Company)
*Dave Thomas (Wendy's)
*Anne Beiler (Auntie Annie's Pretzels)
*Liz Claiborne
*Marcus Loews (Loews threatres)

I am not saying to drop out of High School! STAY THERE!
However success is what YOU make it. It is not given to you, YOU HAVE TO GO OUT THERE AND GET IT. GO!


Josh said...

Bra Queen! I am coming for you with a guest post. "Living Life and Loving Life Everyday" is a great mantra. I'm waiting on that email. I might even bump you to the front of the line:)

Bra Queen said...

Awesome Josh! I will be waiting :) As will my readers xx I have emailed you.

Skye said...

I love your post Renee... like in the song Happy, "we choose to win or lose". If you put in the effort, the rewards will be reaped, eventually.

Bra Queen said...

Exactly Skye! If you stay true to yourself and be consistent then great things will happen!

Chantal Fleming said...

Yet again the universe is trying to connect with me. Only 2 weeks ago did I have an anxiety attack (of sorts) over this very topic.

I found it interesting that you spoke about having a diploma in hairdressing. I've got experience in a range of things but why is it we feel so inadequate when we don't have a diploma in being a Mum, and therefore doubt ourselves SO much?! Who needs enemies when we have ourselves to do with at times.

Thanks for the topic and the reminder :)

Bra Queen said...

HA! Chantal I know you needs enemies, we are our own worst enemy.

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