Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Man! Some people just DON'T get it!


Do you have a body baby?
I have always called Maddison my body baby. She has been attached to me since I took her home from the hospital at 6 weeks until then it was just patting and cuddles were few and far between.
Everyone said “She’ll grow out of it” but alias 3 years later and not so much!

Pretty much like clock every 10 minutes she will come up to me and say “MUMMY, I want cuddles”

I often wonder if she craves more “cuddles” because of her lack of them in the beginning.
What do you think?

I think now she is much more aware that something isn’t quite right because she is craving even more affection (if that is possible) She knows that she is going in for her surgery and Tom is going to fix it for her, but I don’t know!

As hard as it is to try and explain and prepare her for it and watch her frightened eyes as she goes under, I know that every time I go in I come out stronger and right now I feel like I need that strength for the next chapter.

For each time we go in we walk out stronger, more inspired, more compassionate and a more united family.

Her surgery was booked in for 2 weeks ago then got delayed due to a more critical baby. Some people’s thought process was “It can’t be too serious if they are delaying it” to you I say this-
I feel sorry for you as clearly you are from another planet. Clearly you weren’t there in the beginning; you didn’t see what I saw.
Do you grasp the reality of what life is about I wonder? You aren’t there every time she chokes, stops breathing and vomits everywhere or every time she goes blue because no air is going to her lungs. It’s real, it’s very real. Whether you choose to believe it or not.


Maybe it isn’t “as serious” but I know that because I see and I breathe and I feel for every sick child and their parents because I know what they have been through and what we continue to go through because whether it is or isn’t as serious as the next child we move on but we don’t forget and we never really get over what happen.

BUT make no mistake I am so incredibly grateful to live and to tell my story.

4 comments:

MadCow said...

I hear ya!

Similar stuff to livung with depression.

Somtimes - most times - people should just Shut UP!

Bev said...

yes even wakes up at nights and wants cuddles

bell said...

Oh your TOF baby is am incredible little woman...cuddles all round I say! Who wants her to grow out of it...I don't! Thank God for Tom and his amazing skills to help make your life less about the scary confronting side of TOF but the joyous cuddles that come with her. x

Bra Queen said...

That she is! Yes, Tom fixes everything xx

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