Friday, January 29, 2010

My Road to Understanding Depression

As you know I have been working on raising awareness for Depression with the lovely Mad Cow Amanda Cox of Real Mums, we’re just about to launch our campaign and while we’ve been putting it together I have been doing a lot of research and I’ll be doing a series of posts on ‘Understanding Depression’ but before I start that-

My road to Understanding Depression-

Now while I don’t suffer from Depression I am beginning to get a thorough understanding of somewhat how it would feel like and understand the thought process for NOT being out in the open.

As a successful business woman who LOVES her job and works extremely odd hours to ensure I stay on top of everything because I like to be in control of it and it’s growing SUPER quick, YAY!
Now as a Mother here’s where I get frustrated; 2 very young and extremely dependant girls whom I love dearly but some days, some weeks I just can not cope and I feel like I am losing that plot, 3 ½ years later some days I’ve just had enough. Tired of the noise, the depends, the extra 20kg on my hip every second of the day, sweeping the floor 200 times a day, repeating the same thing 200 times a day, the endless washing and ironing, having to remain calm and not raise my voice at them and it is so monotonous it makes me want to scream.

When someone reaches out do you listen?

It takes A LOT of courage for a woman to reach out, I did recently and do you know what I got-
But you’re a woman, it’s in your genetic make up, it’s what you’re born to do. Now at that point I realised (I put aside the desire to throw something at him) as much as it was ingest THAT REALLY IS THE COMMON THOUGHT PROCESS. To every joke is an element of truth.

I understand why women with PND don’t say anything and have the ability to act as if nothing is wrong.


Personally I think as a Mother/Partner/Wife we are the back bone of our family. Often if our partners see us starting to freak out or stress out then they stress out too. When they stress out WE DON’T we are calm and clear headed and help solve the problem. Leaving us with the feeling if we crumble the whole family crumbles, or does it?

ANOTHER REASON TO PRETEND IT DOESN’T EXIST, see now I’m getting the picture. But surely although now I understand WHY people pretend but isn’t it still a smoke screen, shouldn’t we be working through it with our partners and making them understand?
I’ll get my old mate Chris Owen the relationship guru onto that and she can rectify it for us.

Yes we all have so much on our plates and we do take on a lot but I don’t know about you but if I wasn’t working on my business and on this blog I would spiral into a dark place because this is what KEEPS me SANE.

This is my own personal opinion, I am in no means an expert in this field so if you do feel like you need help please go to SANE or call them on 1800 18 SANE (7263)

Disclaimer: This article was written from a personal opinion and I am NOT a qualified in psychology or counselling. If you do need assistance with emotions or mental health, to seek assistance from your GP immediately.


Chris Owen (@Chris_PinkApple) said...

Renee Well done!
You're doing a great job of researching and digging into depression. Keep digging until you get a sense of what it's like to walk in a depressed person's shoes.
And please keep sharing this.
Everyone needs to know it!

K.Line said...

When you parent you are (for a few early years - which can seem like a lifetime) predominantly living for others. It's very hard to continue with the exploration of one's own identity when a baby will suffer if you don't prioritize her above all else. That can be tremendously depressing - and anxiety provoking. By the time you realize it, the path is laid and you're forever committed to the journey. I love my daughter tremendously and with a great protective urge, but I don't love parenting. I've adapted but it's never going to be the favourite activity of my life. I do look forward to her adolescence and adulthood because, with independence, she and I can relate more as equals.

Bra Queen said...

Thank you Chris I value your feedback,
K.Line thank you for your honesty, I can understand exactly what you are saying. I LOVE my girls to death but I don't LOVE parenting. Oops! Did I just say that put loud :) But realising that I think it only makes us better Mum's.

robyn said...

as someone who suffers from depression, keep up the great work. i don't have kids to deal with but i have a hubby who is like dealing with a kid sometimes.

when the dark times come they can be for long periods and that is when the person needs the help/support of friends and family and a professional team. make sure anyone who is blue for more than two weeks, gets treatment, speaks to a gp about seeing a psychiatrist/medications to try to come back to the real world. it can take years for one to overcome their depression but the importance of support cannot go unneeded. a professional who specialises in areas such as pnd, ptsd, cbt and the other categories of depression are needed to get the person to the stage where they are feeling ok/well.

Bra Queen said...

Thank you so much Robyn, I will continue. Thank you for sharing your story it really helps get an insight and a better understanding of Depression.

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