Thursday, January 28, 2010

With a Challenge Comes a Lesson

Something I hear alot is "You never get mad, I've known you forever and never seen you mad."
Yes, it takes me alot to get mad, really mad that is.
Intentionally or unintentionally I don't know she then challenged me. I don't mind being challenged because with it is always a lesson.

What the lesson I learnt?

People who cry out for help and you're there you drop everything, they ask for help you give it, they don't it. No thank you just unorganise and reorganise then fix the problem.

What do you get?

Turn my world upside down and what do I get a big fat donut! Nothing not a thank you or even a nod. Not that I do anything just to get a thank you, I do it because I care and because I can.
Before you ask for help be sure you actually want it.

People who only do things on their terms and the world owes them, I'm sorry I just do not have the time or the patience for that.
When I can and do help people online ALL the time and they are the most nicest and grateful people ever. (Thank you for your emails, I love them)

You wanted to test me, you succeeded but when you test people you're only letting yourself down and making people put barriers up. I surround myself in people that love me for me and inspire me to be a better person.

No games no BS just friendship


absolutelywhyaard said...

I was only thinking about this very topic during the school run this afternoon! You just CANT help some people - they will use and abuse, take advantage of your good nature, use you up like a tube of toothpaste, no thanks no NOTHING! Then walk away and slight you! I've learned the hard way! I spent 2009 helping A LOT of people... online it's different, but in real life, I feel very disappointed and exhausted and I said to my adult kids the other day - 'if your name isn't X, Y or Z (in relation to a bunch of surnames I rattled off), then I can't help you!' And I meant it! Fora change I have to look after me... nobody else is doing it... (actually that's not true - my husband and children do a great job of that, so perhaps others think I don't need them as well!) *Shrug* Who knows...I just know 2010 is my time to spend it with the people who matter most!

Blog on the Rocks said...

Hi Renee.... a very good mate of mine calls them "ONE WAY SWIMMERS"... I try to avoid them if possible!
The Rock Revealer

Bra Queen said...

HA LOL! I love 'use you up like a tube of toothpaste' sad but true! Louise Hay says "Sometimes saying no to others is saying yes to your self"
Hey Lou, Funny! I call them drainers :)

MadCow said...

He. I have a "friend' who has dumped me, despite me being there for her thick and thin, late night teary phone calls, the works.

She knew I was there for her.

Till I woke up to her victim status - she LOVED being one. I thought she was better than that, so stopped allowing her to be one. Stopped facilitating it.

Sadly, her mentality was also holding me back. Something I didn't realise was happening.

She's still a victim, which saddens me, but I have moved onwards and upwards. I still don't like to see the place she is in - but you're right, you can only help those that want it and are open to it.

Well done, you :)

Bra Queen said...

Thanks! Well then I don't think she was much of a friend then!

absolutelywhyaard said...

It's important to recharge...and I agree that saying no means looking after yourself - which is SUPER important! Without taking care of yourself you cannot even hope to be there for others... we all need to take time to be kind to ourselves, as much as we are kind to others... it's good to pamper and rejuvenate and then bounce back (hopefully) feeling better than ever!

Amanda, I had a friend like yours... well maybe not exactly, as no 2 people are identical... I stuck with her, but I admit it was super draining. She chose to take a hiatus away for a couple of years (we've been friends since forever so I did miss her) BUT I think it was a good thing... she has had her challenges and I don't know that I could have survived them all! She is slowly bouncing back but was recently diagnosed with bipolar. Unfortunately typical antidepressants were making her worse. Now with the correct diagnosis she is 'healing'!
Of course this may not reflect or mirror your friend's story at all... and I totally understand where you are coming from. Sometimes, for our own sakes we HAVE to step back. If what is happening is affecting our lives it's good to change direction! Sometimes you just gotta! I call it breathing out... nobody can continue that pace forever, we all need time away. Sometimes it is possible to come back together and sometimes it isn't!

One thing I've come to realise is that my journey is mine - and I can't necessarily share it with all of the people I would like to... everyone has a season in our lives, some are longer than others... I am grateful for the people who have shared my journey so far; I've learnt a lot from them and because of them! Hopefully I've taught them something too...

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